Weight Loss For Your Wedding

“Pastor, how do I lose weight for my wedding?” asked the bride-to-be to the church pastor who will be officiating her wedding in the next quarter. “Fast, persevere, and eat only with godliness in your heart”, he replied. “What about physical exercise?” she asked again. “Well that’s good too, but if you ask me if I exercise, I don’t. In fact most religious leaders don’t need to exercise because of our devotion. We eat less and choose only basic foods. When I and my wife were engaged to be married, we did not have to lose weight for wedding because we were in good shape.”

So the bride-to-be then chose the path of religiosity and faithfulness. But her problem was really on her appetite which she could not control. She attempted to exercise but to no avail. Then she consulted another pastor from another religious group and asked the same question, “Pastor, how do I lose weight for my wedding?” The pastor simply replied, “Exercise!”  “What about fasting and choosing the basic foods with godliness in our heart,” the bride-to-be asked again. “Well, that is okay, but with regards occasional fasting, I do too. In fact most religious leaders don’t need to fast because we perform indoor exercises most of the time. We do stretching, run on a treadmill, and use stationary bikes. When I and my wife were engaged to be married, we did not have to lose weight for wedding because we were in good shape.”

Finally the bride-to-be approached another religious leader, this time a priest and again asked the same question, “Father, how do I lose weight for my wedding?” The priest replied, “Fast, persevere, and eat only with godliness in your heart. Also, remember to perform regular exercises”.  Then curiously she said, “I tried to exercise and performed fasting or if not, eat only basic foods with godliness in my heart, but I’m still obese. The problem really is when I’m over a certain day of fasting – my appetite cannot be controlled the next day.” So the priest quickly said, “Well, if you cannot control your appetite and if you cannot lose weight for wedding, I’ll allow you to say this perfect message to your future husband on that occasion:

“For fatness or for thinness, in obesity or in malnutrition, till death do us part.” 

The bride-to-be blushed and told the priest, “I’ll struggle by whatever means to lose weight for my wedding even it means getting poor and sickly, so we can skip that line.”